Welcome to
AXIS Live.
Your DEIB toolkit, here whenever you need it. This sample opens one section: gender.
Reach for it when a real moment lands.
A living reference for the language, ideas and situations that come up in your workplace. Every page ends with prompts that turn your organisation's AI assistant into a personal guide, on whatever you're dealing with right now.
What it isn't: a course.
No homework, no modules to finish, no test at the end. Read one page or fifty. Nobody is keeping score.
When to reach for it
Ask it. Don't just read it.
Every page ends with prompts. Copy one, paste it into your organisation's AI assistant, and keep replying. The prompt sets things up. The conversation is yours.
Copy the prompt.
One tap on the button.
Paste it into your organisation's approved AI tool.
Copilot, ChatGPT Enterprise or whatever your company uses. Not a personal account.
Keep going.
Reply, pick an option, push back, ask it to go simpler. It gets more useful the longer you stay.
Learn it
You want to understand something properly.
The AI explains it in a work setting, gives you a real example, then offers three ways to go further. You pick; it follows.
Challenge me
You're not sure you agree, or want to test your own thinking.
The AI makes the sceptic's case, then the other side, then asks where you land. No audience, no judgement.
Help with a real situation
Something has happened, or is about to.
You describe it without names or client detail. The AI asks a few questions, helps you think it through, and gives you words you could use.
Plan my path
You want to know where to go next.
The AI asks about your role and what you're facing, then suggests where to start and what to read next.
AI can be wrong, and it can sound very sure while it is.
Treat it as a thinking partner, not an authority. Anything involving policy, discipline or the law goes to HR or your formal routes, not a chatbot.
Gender.
People move when they feel invited, not indicted.
AXIS Live doesn't tell you what to think, and it doesn't blame. It gives you the language and the context to act with confidence.
Gender, unpacked.
This is a sample of AXIS Live. Links shown faded go to pages in the full toolkit.
Gender is one of the first things we notice about each other, and one of the first things the world uses to decide how to treat us. From birth we are handed a script: boys and men do this, girls and women do that. Most of us learned it before we could question it. It still shapes which jobs people are steered towards, who does the caring at home, whose idea gets credited in a meeting, and who walks to the car park at night with their keys in their hand.
This section covers women and men at work, gender-based violence and harassment, and masculinity. Gender identity, including transgender and non-binary people, has its own pages under LGBTIQ+.
One key distinction
The two words are often used as if they mean the same thing. Some people dispute where the line between them sits. At work the starting point doesn't change: everyone is treated with dignity.
Relative, not absolute.
When we say many women feel unsafe walking to their car at night, nobody is saying every man feels safe. We are talking about relative safety, shaped by identity. We may all feel we are walking on eggshells at times. For some people, because of who they are, the eggshells are sharper, and there are more of them.
Relative unsafety, Run to the Monster.
South Africa's Constitution lists both gender and sex among the grounds on which no one may be unfairly discriminated against (section 9(3)), alongside pregnancy, marital status and sexual orientation. The Employment Equity Act applies the same grounds at work, and treats harassment as a form of unfair discrimination.
Women have led the fight for these rights. On 9 August 1956, about 20,000 women of all races marched to the Union Buildings in Pretoria to protest against pass laws for women. The date is now National Women's Day.
The gap between the law and daily life is still wide. In the 2025 reporting cycle, the Commission for Employment Equity reported that men outnumber women by more than two to one in top management, although women make up 45.7% of the economically active population. In the 2024/25 financial year, 40,475 rapes were reported to the police, and many more never are. In November 2025, gender-based violence and femicide was classified as a national disaster under the Disaster Management Act, which obliges government departments to coordinate and report on their response.
At work, the 2022 Code of Good Practice on the Prevention and Elimination of Harassment in the Workplace sets out what employers must do about harassment, including sexual harassment, and South Africa ratified the ILO Violence and Harassment Convention (C190) in 2021. For the detail, see The law in plain language.
- Constitution of the Republic of South Africa, Chapter 2: Bill of Rights (gov.za)
- Employment Equity Act, section 6 (Acts Online)
- The 1956 Women's March (South African History Online)
- Employment and Labour on the 26th CEE Annual Report, 1 July 2026 (gov.za)
- Reply to Question NW178, rape and murder cases reported in 2024/25 (PMG)
- CoGTA welcomes classification of GBVF as a national disaster, 21 November 2025 (SAnews)
- Code of Good Practice on the Prevention and Elimination of Harassment in the Workplace, 2022 (Laws.Africa)
- South Africa ratifies the Violence and Harassment Convention, 2021 (ILO)
When you are unsure how someone would like to be described or addressed, ask, privately and simply. Most people would rather be asked than assumed about. For pronouns, see Pronouns.
- It names experiences many women have had for years, and gives them words.
- It makes room for men to talk about pressure, care and mental health.
- Clearer norms make it easier to work closely across gender without second-guessing.
- Some men hear "men are the problem" and feel blamed for things they haven't done.
- Some women feel it is all talk, because the same people still get the big roles.
- Some people feel the rules have changed overnight, and fear that one wrong word or emoji will end a career.
Each of these reactions is real, and none of them is the whole story. Most people want to work well with colleagues of every gender, and many are unsure what that asks of them now. This is not about shame, and it is not about blame. It is about agreeing, out loud, how we treat each other.
In five sentences, explain how gender shapes people's experience at work, and the difference between sex and gender. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where two colleagues of different genders are treated differently for the same behaviour. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want to test my thinking on gender at work. First, make the strongest honest case that gender no longer matters at work and everyone should simply be judged on merit, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want help with a real situation involving gender in my team, such as who gets heard, who gets opportunities, or how people work together across gender. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I've just read about gender at work in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
- Sex
- The biological characteristics, such as chromosomes, hormones and reproductive anatomy, used to classify people as female or male. A baby's sex is usually recorded at birth from their body. Some people are born with intersex variations.
- Gender
- The roles, behaviours and expectations a society attaches to being a woman, a man or another gender, together with a person's own sense of their gender. People often use "sex" and "gender" as if they mean the same thing; they are related, but different.
- Ideal worker
- The unspoken picture of the perfect employee: always available, always well, unaffected by family, history or identity. Nobody fits it, and the further you are from it, the more you have to perform to appear close.
- Burden of care
- The practical and mental load of looking after others, such as children, older relatives and the household, and of remembering everything that needs doing. It falls unevenly, more often on women, and the ideal worker is assumed to carry none of it.
- Sexual harassment
- Unwanted conduct of a sexual nature. It runs from comments, jokes, looks and messages, through unwanted touch, to sexual assault and rape, and includes making work benefits depend on sexual favours. A single serious incident can be enough. Run to the Monster's shorthand: unwanted, and sexual in nature.
- Gender-based violence (GBV)
- Violence directed at someone because of their gender, or that affects people of one gender disproportionately. It includes physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and economic abuse, and threats of these. Women and girls are most affected; men, transgender and non-binary people experience it too.
Women are close to half of South Africa's economically active population, and far fewer of the people who run its organisations. In the 2025 reporting cycle, the Commission for Employment Equity reported that men outnumber women by more than two to one in top management. The pipeline is not empty. It leaks.
The usual advice is for women to lean in: speak up, put your hand up, back yourself. That advice isn't wrong, and it is only half the story. It puts the whole weight of change on the people with the least power in the room. The other half is what the organisation, and the people who are already comfortable in it, do differently.
The quiet voice that says "not yet".
For generations, women have been told, in a thousand small ways, that they can't have both a serious career and a healthy home life. If you believe that, you are less likely to apply for the role, take the travelling job or ask for the promotion. The doubt was taught. It can be untaught, and teams can stop teaching it.
Psychological violence and self-exclusion, from The Inclusion Challenge, Run to the Monster.
Many women at work describe being judged against two scripts at once: be warm, and be tough. Lean one way and you are "too soft for leadership". Lean the other and you are "abrasive". Mothers who stay late can be judged as neglecting their children; mothers who leave on time can be judged as not committed. The behaviour is the same. The label changes.
None of this means every man thinks this way, or that women never say it about each other. Labels are inherited, taught and caught. Noticing them is the first step to not using them in a performance review.
- Finally, someone is naming why so many capable women stall below the top.
- Targets and sponsorship programmes make progress visible and measurable.
- Men who share the load at home and at work find it opens up their roles too.
- "We just appoint the best person." Some fear that a focus on gender means lowering the bar.
- Some women don't want to be seen as a gender hire, and resent the assumption.
- Some men feel opportunities are being closed to them.
The fair answer to "the best person" is: best by whose measure? Criteria built around one kind of career quietly rule out good people. Equity is about a fair shot at the same high standard. Nobody is asking for less; the ask is to look properly at who you are missing.
- Give trust on purpose. Ask her to lead the meeting, present to the client or build the project team, and let her know you are there if she needs you.
- Sponsor, don't just mentor. Say her name in the rooms she isn't in.
- Ask, don't decide for her. "Would you be interested in the regional role?" Let her weigh up her own life.
- Share the office housework. Rotate note-taking and event planning, and give the high-visibility work out fairly.
- Check the criteria. Are you rewarding "always available" or results? Is "presence" code for one style?
- Stop interrupting. If you do, catch it: "Sorry, go on."
- Credit the idea where it started. "That builds on what Thandi said earlier."
- Take your share of the comfort work. Take the coffee order, clear the table, push the chairs in.
- Keep mentoring and including. Pulling back from women colleagues out of fear does real harm. See Men, masculinity and inclusion.
"I want to come back to Lerato's point, because I think she cracked it."
"There's a regional role coming up. I don't want to assume anything. Would you like to be considered?"
"I took the notes last time, so it's someone else's turn. I'm happy to set up the next one."
"I'm sorry I didn't put you forward to lead that meeting when you were clearly the expert. I'll make more room for you next time."
In five sentences, explain why women are under-represented in senior roles, and how much of it is about the organisation rather than the women. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a capable woman is overlooked for promotion without anyone meaning to overlook her. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want to test my thinking on women in leadership. First, make the strongest honest case that we should simply appoint the best person and that focusing on gender lowers the bar, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want help with a real situation about who gets opportunities, sponsorship or promotion in my team, where I wonder whether gender is playing a part. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I've just read about women in leadership in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
- Non-promotable tasks
- Work that matters but rarely leads to promotion, such as taking notes, organising events or ordering lunch. Research by economist Linda Babcock and colleagues found that women are asked to do these tasks, and volunteer for them, more often than men. Sometimes called office housework.
- Sponsorship
- When someone with influence actively advocates for a colleague: putting their name forward and vouching for them in rooms they are not in. Mentors give advice; sponsors open doors.
- Burden of care
- The practical and mental load of looking after others, such as children, older relatives and the household, and of remembering everything that needs doing. It falls unevenly, more often on women, and the ideal worker is assumed to carry none of it.
- Ideal worker
- The unspoken picture of the perfect employee: always available, always well, unaffected by family, history or identity. Nobody fits it, and the further you are from it, the more you have to perform to appear close.
Get help first.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call the police on 10111. The Gender-Based Violence Command Centre answers 24 hours a day, free, on 0800 428 428. From any cell phone you can also dial *120*7867# to ask a social worker to call you back.
Gender-based violence is violence directed at someone because of their gender, or that hits one gender far harder than others. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological or economic. Women and girls are most affected. Men, transgender and non-binary people experience it too. In South Africa, the Medical Research Council found that in 2020/21 about three women a day were killed by an intimate partner.
It reaches work in two ways. It follows people in: a colleague whose partner abuses them still has to show up, answer calls and hit targets. And it happens at work: sexual harassment sits on the same line, running from a comment or a whistle "through to assault and rape". Everything that happens in society enters the workplace in one way or another.
Three behaviours, one shared word
Sexual harassment
Unwanted. Sexual in nature.
Harassment
Unwanted. Tied to who someone is.
Bullying
Repeated. Tied to power.
The three definitions, Run to the Monster. The legal tests are on The law in plain language.
Everyone has a line: the boundary between what they find acceptable and what they don't. There is my line, your line, the line we agree as a team, and the line society draws. We cross each other's lines without knowing it. How serious it is depends on how far the line was crossed, and how it landed for the other person.
Most harm doesn't start in the dark, violent end. It starts in the grey: the comment about a body, the late-night message, standing too close, walking someone to their car when they didn't want it. Each time it is swallowed, the line moves a little further. Everyone agrees sexual assault is wrong. Not everyone agrees the emoji was. That gap is where most of the work is.
The Line and the grey scale, from The Line, Run to the Monster's programme on sexual harassment.
Strong policies fail when nobody reports, and people rarely report when they fear what happens next. Each barrier has an answer an organisation can build.
The five barriers to reporting, Run to the Monster.
- Believe them. "I believe you" matters more than anything else you say.
- Let them lead. Ask what they want, if anything. Don't push them to report, leave or confront anyone.
- Keep it private. Don't pass it on without their agreement, unless someone is in immediate danger.
- Use the five Ds if you see harassment: delay, distract, delegate, document, direct. See Allyship and upstanding.
- Don't investigate or confront the person doing it. That can put them, and you, at risk.
- Make safety practical. Screen calls, move a desk, change a shift, arrange an escort to the car or the taxi rank.
- Be flexible. Court dates, clinic visits and moving house take time. Use leave and flexible hours generously. For harassment at work, the 2022 Harassment Code asks employers to consider extra paid sick leave where trauma counselling is needed.
- Don't turn it into a performance issue. Lateness and missed targets may be symptoms. Talk first.
- Refer, and stay human. Point to the EAP and the routes below, and keep checking in.
- Act on harassment at work. Once it is brought to your attention, your organisation must act.
"I've noticed you seem under a lot of pressure lately. You don't have to tell me anything, but I'm here if you want to talk."
"Thank you for telling me. I believe you. What would help right now?"
"Would it help if calls for you came through reception first, or if we changed your hours for a while?"
"I noticed what he said about your body. Are you okay with that? Is there anything you'd like me to do?"
If anyone is in danger, call SAPS on 10111. Rape and sexual assault are crimes: report them to the police. Thuthuzela Care Centres, run by the National Prosecuting Authority at hospitals and clinics around the country, offer one-stop care and support after rape.
For support at any hour, the GBV Command Centre is on 0800 428 428, free, 24 hours a day.
For protection from an abuser, a person can apply for a protection order at a magistrates' court, under the Domestic Violence Act or, where there is no domestic relationship (including a colleague or a client), the Protection from Harassment Act. You don't need a lawyer, and breaking an order is a crime.
For harassment at work, use your organisation's harassment policy, its informal and formal routes, and HR. The 2022 Harassment Code covers clients, customers, suppliers and contractors, as people who harass and as people who are harassed, and work trips, functions and online chats as well as the office. A single serious incident can be enough. Your organisation must act once it knows, and must protect anyone who raises a complaint in good faith from being victimised.
This is not legal advice. For the detail, see The law in plain language.
In five sentences, explain how gender-based violence and sexual harassment show up at work, and why so few people report them. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a manager suspects a team member is experiencing abuse at home. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want to test my thinking on gender-based violence and the workplace. First, make the strongest honest case that what happens in employees' private lives is none of the employer's business, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want help with a real situation where I think gender-based violence or sexual harassment may be affecting someone at work, or me, and where you should tell me plainly if anything I describe needs a person or a helpline rather than an AI. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I've just read about gender-based violence and the workplace in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
- Gender-based violence (GBV)
- Violence directed at someone because of their gender, or that affects people of one gender disproportionately. It includes physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and economic abuse, and threats of these. Women and girls are most affected; men, transgender and non-binary people experience it too.
- Femicide
- The killing of a woman or girl because of her gender. Many femicides are committed by a current or former partner.
- Sexual harassment
- Unwanted conduct of a sexual nature. It runs from comments, jokes, looks and messages, through unwanted touch, to sexual assault and rape, and includes making work benefits depend on sexual favours. A single serious incident can be enough. Run to the Monster's shorthand: unwanted, and sexual in nature.
- Harassment
- Unwanted conduct that impairs someone's dignity or creates a hostile or intimidating environment. In South African law, workplace harassment is linked to a ground such as race, gender, sexual orientation or disability, and is a form of unfair discrimination. Run to the Monster's shorthand: unwanted, and tied to who someone is.
- The grey area
- In Run to the Monster's model of sexual harassment, the wide band of everyday conduct (comments, looks, messages, standing too close) that brushes up against someone's line and is often treated as normal. Most harassment starts here and grows when it goes unchallenged.
- Victimisation
- Treating someone badly because they raised, reported or supported a complaint, for example by sidelining them or changing their shifts. It causes harm in its own right, and fear of it is one of the main reasons people stay silent.
- Victim or survivor
- Two words for a person who has been harmed. "Victim" names the harm; "survivor" names the person's strength and agency. Run to the Monster pairs them. People have their own preference, so follow their lead.
Masculinity is not toxic. Some of the traits boys and men are taught are. That difference matters, because most men switch off the moment a conversation sounds like "men are the problem".
Men are handed a script, just as women are. In 1976, psychologist Robert Brannon summed up the traditional rules of manhood in four lines. Many men in South Africa will recognise them, across race and class, even though their lives are very different.
No sissy stuff
Reject anything seen as feminine: softness, tears, pink, asking for help.
Be a big wheel
Measure yourself by status, success, money and power.
Be a sturdy oak
Stay calm and reliable, and keep your feelings to yourself.
Give 'em hell
Be tough, aggressive and willing to take risks.
Men who don't fit the script, including gay men and men who show emotion, are often policed hardest, usually by other men. Researcher Rhea Ashley Hoskin calls the wider pattern femmephobia: treating anything feminine, in anyone, as worth less.
Run to the Monster names two traits of masculinity that sit underneath a lot of sexual harassment.
Ignorance
Many men were taught that their behaviour is harmless: just normal interaction between men and women. Some are genuinely shocked to learn it landed badly.
The need to dominate
Sometimes we know. Harassment can be a way to feel powerful, often rooted in insecurity and the pressure to prove you are man enough.
Two toxic traits of masculinity, from The Line, Run to the Monster.
#NotAllMen.
The phrase is a pushback against the idea that masculinity as a whole is the problem, and that is fair. It doesn't mean men shouldn't look at the traits that do harm. Here is the harder thought: men can be part of a system that benefits them at women's expense, without having built it, chosen it or even noticed it.
From The Line, Run to the Monster.
The script that limits women also squeezes men. "Don't cry" and "always provide" leave little room to say you are struggling, ask for help, or take time to care for your children. Men are harassed too, and many say nothing. In Australia's 2022 national survey, 26% of men (and 41% of women) said they had been sexually harassed at work in the past five years. Overall, 77% of harassers were men, and only 18% of cases were reported.
- Gives men a way into the conversation that isn't only about blame.
- Names pressures many men feel and rarely say out loud.
- Shows men they have a real role in ending harassment, not just avoiding it.
- "I can't even send a WhatsApp any more. One wrong emoji and I'm a harasser."
- Some men stop mentoring young women or inviting them to events, to be safe.
- Some feel women have been given a weapon, and that a few false claims prove it.
In these conversations many men feel defensive and many women feel angry, and neither moves until the other feels heard. False claims can happen, which is why a fair process matters for everyone. They are no reason to doubt every complaint. And pulling back from women colleagues is a retreat from relations that costs women mentors, sponsors and opportunities. The answer is to learn where the lines are and lean in, not to step away.
"Come on, that's not okay. Let's leave it."
"That comment about her earlier didn't sit right with me. I don't think she found it funny either."
"Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry. I didn't realise, and I won't do it again."
"I'm a hugger, but not everyone is. Handshake or hug?"
In five sentences, explain the difference between masculinity and the traits of masculinity that do harm, and what men can do about harassment. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a male manager has stopped mentoring women because he is afraid of getting it wrong. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want to test my thinking on men, masculinity and inclusion. First, make the strongest honest case that talk about masculinity is anti-men and blames all men for the actions of a few, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want help with a real situation involving men in my team, such as a comment I didn't challenge, a line I may have crossed, or how to talk to other men about it. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I've just read about men, masculinity and inclusion in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
- Toxic masculinity
- A popular term for harmful norms of manhood, such as dominance, suppressing emotion and contempt for anything seen as feminine. Run to the Monster prefers to speak of toxic traits of masculinity, because masculinity itself is not toxic. Many men reject the term because it sounds like an attack on all men.
- The man box
- A name for the narrow rules many boys and men are taught to live by: be tough, don't cry, provide, stay in control, don't be "like a girl". Men who step outside it are often policed by other men.
- Femmephobia
- The devaluing of femininity, in anyone, and the policing of feminine behaviour and expression. The term was developed by researcher Rhea Ashley Hoskin.
- Retreat from relations
- Pulling back from colleagues out of fear of getting it wrong: not mentoring, not asking, not giving honest feedback, not saying hello. It feels safe and quietly damages trust and opportunity.
- Redemption
- The way back after getting something wrong: an apology backed by changed behaviour, and others allowing the relationship to continue.
It was aimed at me.
Someone said something to you, or about you, that has stayed with you. Maybe it was one comment. Maybe it is the fifth time this month. You keep replaying it, and part of you is asking whether you are overreacting, whether it was really that bad, and whether saying anything will make things worse.
What you felt is information. Your body reads a threat to your standing, your dignity or your safety in much the same way it reads physical danger, which is why it lingers. Someone who has never been on the receiving end may find it easy to shrug off. That doesn't make your experience less true.
People often say nothing because they fear what will happen next, don't know what to do, don't trust the process, don't want a formal fight, or don't feel supported. All of those are reasonable. None of them mean you have to carry this alone. The risk of carrying it alone is that you start to shrink: you stop speaking up, stop putting your hand up, and start excluding yourself.
Write it down.
What happened, when, where, who was there, and what was said, as close to the words as you can. Do it soon. You don't have to decide anything yet; the note keeps your options open.
Tell someone you trust.
A colleague, a friend, a mentor, a union rep. Saying it out loud to someone who believes you helps you see it clearly.
Decide what you want.
For it to stop? An apology? For someone to know? A formal process? Different goals need different routes, and you are allowed to choose the quieter one.
If it is safe, address it directly.
A short, specific conversation, or a message, can be enough for a first or minor incident. You don't owe anyone a debate.
Use the formal routes when you need them.
Repeated conduct, anything sexual, threats, or anything from someone with power over you is exactly what the formal routes are for. Using them, or asking for support, is not making a fuss.
- Talking yourself out of it. "It's probably just me" is how a lot of harm keeps going.
- Waiting for it to stop on its own. Sometimes it does. Often it grows.
- Confronting someone when you don't feel safe. Your safety comes first. There are other routes.
- Going public first. Posting about it can feel like the only way to be heard, and it usually narrows your options.
- Doing it all alone. Support makes every option easier.
"What you said in the meeting didn't sit well with me. Please don't say that again."
"This is the third time this has come up. I'd like it to stop."
"Something happened at work that I want to talk through. I'm not sure yet what I want to do about it."
"I want to raise something that happened, and I want to understand my options before I decide anything."
Harassment linked to who you are (your race, gender, sexuality, disability, religion, age or another ground) and sexual harassment are forms of unfair discrimination under the Employment Equity Act, and your employer must act once it knows. Bullying that is not linked to identity is still covered by your organisation's policies. A single serious incident can be enough; it doesn't have to be a pattern. You can also apply for a protection order at a magistrates' court against anyone harassing you, including a colleague or a client, without a lawyer. Sexual assault is a crime, and you can report it to the police. Your organisation must protect you from being victimised for raising a complaint.
This is not legal advice. For the detail, see The law in plain language.
Something at work was aimed at me and I want to think it through. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Before anything else, ask me how I'm doing with it. Then ask up to three questions to understand what happened and what I want to happen next. Help me see my options, from the quietest to the most formal, honestly and without pushing me either way. If anything I describe sounds serious, tell me plainly that it needs a person, not just an AI.
Here's what happened: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
"It was just a joke."
There is a running joke in the team. Or someone made one today that didn't land, and when it was raised the answer was "it was just a joke" or "you can't say anything any more". Maybe you were the one who made it. Maybe you were the one it was about.
Humour is one of the best things about a good team. It builds trust and lets off pressure. It also has a simple test. Banter runs in all directions and everyone can play. The moment it only ever runs one way, or one person is always the subject, it is not banter any more, whatever we like to call it.
"It was just a joke" is usually true about the intent. It doesn't change the impact. Jokes about who someone is (their accent, their hair, their body, their faith, their sexuality) carry the weight of every other time they have heard the same thing. And people laugh along for lots of reasons, including because it feels unsafe not to.
Run the banter test.
Does it run in every direction? Can everyone play, including the person it is about? Is it always the same person, or the same kind of person?
Look at who is laughing and who isn't.
The person who goes quiet, or laughs a beat too late, is telling you something.
If you made it, take the feedback.
A short "fair, I'll drop that" costs you nothing and earns a lot.
If you were on the receiving end, you get to say so.
You don't have to find it funny to prove you are a good sport.
If you lead the team, set the line.
Keep the humour. Drop the jokes that are always about the same people. Say it once, plainly.
- "You can't take a joke." It turns the problem into the person who raised it.
- "I didn't mean it like that." Probably true. Still not the point.
- Banning humour altogether. Teams go flat and people resent it. The aim is better jokes, not none.
- Laughing along so you don't stand out. Understandable, and it keeps the joke alive.
- A big public showdown. A quiet word usually works better.
"I don't find that one funny. Can we leave it?"
"That joke only ever seems to go one way."
"Fair point. I'll drop that one."
"I want us to keep having a laugh. I don't want the joke to always be on the same people."
"Jokes" about someone's race, gender, sexuality, religion, disability or another part of who they are can be harassment, especially when they are repeated or come from someone with more power. Sexual jokes, comments and images are covered by the sexual harassment rules. Calling it humour doesn't change that. See The law in plain language.
There is a joke or a kind of humour in my team and I am not sure whether it has crossed a line. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions: who the jokes are usually about, who makes them, and how the people involved react. Then apply the banter test honestly (does it run in all directions, is it always the same person) and tell me what you think. Give me a few short words I could use, depending on whether I made the joke, watched it, or was on the receiving end.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
Glossary, A to Z.
Every term in this sample, defined once. Definitions describe real people and real identities, so they are written to be accurate and neutral. Where a word is still contested, we say so.
- Burden of care
- The practical and mental load of looking after others, such as children, older relatives and the household, and of remembering everything that needs doing. It falls unevenly, more often on women, and the ideal worker is assumed to carry none of it.
- Femicide
- The killing of a woman or girl because of her gender. Many femicides are committed by a current or former partner.
- Femmephobia
- The devaluing of femininity, in anyone, and the policing of feminine behaviour and expression. The term was developed by researcher Rhea Ashley Hoskin.
- Gender
- The roles, behaviours and expectations a society attaches to being a woman, a man or another gender, together with a person's own sense of their gender. People often use "sex" and "gender" as if they mean the same thing; they are related, but different.
- Gender-based violence (GBV)
- Violence directed at someone because of their gender, or that affects people of one gender disproportionately. It includes physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and economic abuse, and threats of these. Women and girls are most affected; men, transgender and non-binary people experience it too.
- Harassment
- Unwanted conduct that impairs someone's dignity or creates a hostile or intimidating environment. In South African law, workplace harassment is linked to a ground such as race, gender, sexual orientation or disability, and is a form of unfair discrimination. Run to the Monster's shorthand: unwanted, and tied to who someone is.
- Ideal worker
- The unspoken picture of the perfect employee: always available, always well, unaffected by family, history or identity. Nobody fits it, and the further you are from it, the more you have to perform to appear close.
- Inherited beliefs
- Beliefs about ourselves, other people and the world that we absorbed from family, school, faith, media and society, often before we could question them. "Is this still true? Does this still serve me?" are good questions to ask of them.
- Intersex
- An umbrella term for people born with variations in sex characteristics, such as chromosomes, hormones, gonads or genitals, that don't fit typical definitions of female or male. Being intersex is about the body. It is separate from gender identity and from sexual orientation.
- Non-promotable tasks
- Work that matters but rarely leads to promotion, such as taking notes, organising events or ordering lunch. Research by economist Linda Babcock and colleagues found that women are asked to do these tasks, and volunteer for them, more often than men. Sometimes called office housework.
- Quid pro quo
- Making a job, promotion, pay rise or other benefit depend on sexual favours, or threatening a loss if they are refused. A form of sexual harassment.
- Redemption
- The way back after getting something wrong: an apology backed by changed behaviour, and others allowing the relationship to continue.
- Retreat from relations
- Pulling back from colleagues out of fear of getting it wrong: not mentoring, not asking, not giving honest feedback, not saying hello. It feels safe and quietly damages trust and opportunity.
- Sex
- The biological characteristics, such as chromosomes, hormones and reproductive anatomy, used to classify people as female or male. A baby's sex is usually recorded at birth from their body. Some people are born with intersex variations.
- Sexual harassment
- Unwanted conduct of a sexual nature. It runs from comments, jokes, looks and messages, through unwanted touch, to sexual assault and rape, and includes making work benefits depend on sexual favours. A single serious incident can be enough. Run to the Monster's shorthand: unwanted, and sexual in nature.
- Sponsorship
- When someone with influence actively advocates for a colleague: putting their name forward and vouching for them in rooms they are not in. Mentors give advice; sponsors open doors.
- The grey area
- In Run to the Monster's model of sexual harassment, the wide band of everyday conduct (comments, looks, messages, standing too close) that brushes up against someone's line and is often treated as normal. Most harassment starts here and grows when it goes unchallenged.
- The man box
- A name for the narrow rules many boys and men are taught to live by: be tough, don't cry, provide, stay in control, don't be "like a girl". Men who step outside it are often policed by other men.
- Toxic masculinity
- A popular term for harmful norms of manhood, such as dominance, suppressing emotion and contempt for anything seen as feminine. Run to the Monster prefers to speak of toxic traits of masculinity, because masculinity itself is not toxic. Many men reject the term because it sounds like an attack on all men.
- Victim or survivor
- Two words for a person who has been harmed. "Victim" names the harm; "survivor" names the person's strength and agency. Run to the Monster pairs them. People have their own preference, so follow their lead.
- Victimisation
- Treating someone badly because they raised, reported or supported a complaint, for example by sidelining them or changing their shifts. It causes harm in its own right, and fear of it is one of the main reasons people stay silent.
Every gender prompt, in one place.
Filter by the kind of help you want, or by section. Every prompt works in your organisation's approved AI tool. No names, no client details.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. In five sentences, explain how gender shapes people's experience at work, and the difference between sex and gender. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where two colleagues of different genders are treated differently for the same behaviour. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want to test my thinking on gender at work. First, make the strongest honest case that gender no longer matters at work and everyone should simply be judged on merit, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want help with a real situation involving gender in my team, such as who gets heard, who gets opportunities, or how people work together across gender. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I've just read about gender at work in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. In five sentences, explain why women are under-represented in senior roles, and how much of it is about the organisation rather than the women. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a capable woman is overlooked for promotion without anyone meaning to overlook her. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want to test my thinking on women in leadership. First, make the strongest honest case that we should simply appoint the best person and that focusing on gender lowers the bar, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want help with a real situation about who gets opportunities, sponsorship or promotion in my team, where I wonder whether gender is playing a part. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I've just read about women in leadership in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. In five sentences, explain how gender-based violence and sexual harassment show up at work, and why so few people report them. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a manager suspects a team member is experiencing abuse at home. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want to test my thinking on gender-based violence and the workplace. First, make the strongest honest case that what happens in employees' private lives is none of the employer's business, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want help with a real situation where I think gender-based violence or sexual harassment may be affecting someone at work, or me, and where you should tell me plainly if anything I describe needs a person or a helpline rather than an AI. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I've just read about gender-based violence and the workplace in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. In five sentences, explain the difference between masculinity and the traits of masculinity that do harm, and what men can do about harassment. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a male manager has stopped mentoring women because he is afraid of getting it wrong. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want to test my thinking on men, masculinity and inclusion. First, make the strongest honest case that talk about masculinity is anti-men and blames all men for the actions of a few, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want help with a real situation involving men in my team, such as a comment I didn't challenge, a line I may have crossed, or how to talk to other men about it. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I've just read about men, masculinity and inclusion in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. Something at work was aimed at me and I want to think it through. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Before anything else, ask me how I'm doing with it. Then ask up to three questions to understand what happened and what I want to happen next. Help me see my options, from the quietest to the most formal, honestly and without pushing me either way. If anything I describe sounds serious, tell me plainly that it needs a person, not just an AI. Here's what happened: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. There is a joke or a kind of humour in my team and I am not sure whether it has crossed a line. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions: who the jokes are usually about, who makes them, and how the people involved react. Then apply the banter test honestly (does it run in all directions, is it always the same person) and tell me what you think. Give me a few short words I could use, depending on whether I made the joke, watched it, or was on the receiving end. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
