Welcome to
AXIS Live.
Your DEIB toolkit, here whenever you need it. This sample opens one section: LGBTIQ+.
Reach for it when a real moment lands.
A living reference for the language, ideas and situations that come up in your workplace. Every page ends with prompts that turn your organisation's AI assistant into a personal guide, on whatever you're dealing with right now.
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When to reach for it
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The AI explains it in a work setting, gives you a real example, then offers three ways to go further. You pick; it follows.
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You're not sure you agree, or want to test your own thinking.
The AI makes the sceptic's case, then the other side, then asks where you land. No audience, no judgement.
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Something has happened, or is about to.
You describe it without names or client detail. The AI asks a few questions, helps you think it through, and gives you words you could use.
Plan my path
You want to know where to go next.
The AI asks about your role and what you're facing, then suggests where to start and what to read next.
AI can be wrong, and it can sound very sure while it is.
Treat it as a thinking partner, not an authority. Anything involving policy, discipline or the law goes to HR or your formal routes, not a chatbot.
LGBTIQ+.
People move when they feel invited, not indicted.
AXIS Live doesn't tell you what to think, and it doesn't blame. It gives you the language and the context to act with confidence.
LGBTIQ+, unpacked.
This is a sample of AXIS Live. Links shown faded go to pages in the full toolkit.
LGBTIQ+ is an umbrella for people whose sexual orientation, gender identity or sex characteristics sit outside what society treats as the default. People sometimes joke about the "alphabet soup". The jokes usually come from not knowing what the letters mean, so here they are.
Three different things
Sexual orientation
Who you are attracted to, if anyone. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, straight.
Gender identity
Who you know yourself to be: a woman, a man, both, neither. Transgender, non-binary, cisgender.
Sex characteristics
Your body: chromosomes, hormones, anatomy. Intersex people are born with variations.
These are often mixed up. A transgender woman may be straight, lesbian or bisexual. An intersex person may be a man, a woman or non-binary. The letters sit together because they share a history of being pushed to the edges, not because they describe the same thing.
The word queer was once an insult. Many people have reclaimed it as a word of pride: "I'm queer, so what." Others still find it hurtful. Use it if the person you are talking to does.
Refracting the Rainbow, Run to the Monster.
In 1993, South Africa became the first country in the world to include a ban on unfair discrimination on the ground of sexual orientation in its constitution. That protection carried into section 9(3) of the 1996 Constitution. On 1 December 2005, in Minister of Home Affairs v Fourie, the Constitutional Court found that excluding same-sex couples from marriage was unconstitutional, and the Civil Union Act came into force on 30 November 2006.
Other laws followed. The Alteration of Sex Description and Sex Status Act (49 of 2003) lets transgender people who have had medical or surgical treatment, and intersex people, apply to change the sex description on their birth register. Applications need medical reports. The Employment Equity Act protects sexual orientation at work. The Hate Crimes and Hate Speech Act, signed in 2024, covers sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, and sex characteristics, although it was not yet in force in October 2026.
Africa's first Pride march took place in Johannesburg on 13 October 1990, while apartheid was still law. Pride is marked internationally in June, and Johannesburg Pride is held in October.
The law and the lived welcome are not the same thing. In a 2016 Human Sciences Research Council study for The Other Foundation, more than 70% of South Africans said same-sex sexual activity was morally wrong, yet more than half said gay and lesbian people should have the same human rights as everyone else. LGBTIQ+ people still hear their identities called sinful or "un-African", and some face violence. Many walk into work with the same quiet question: am I accepted here because the law says so, or am I actually welcome?
- Constitutional change and participation of LGBTI groups: a case study of South Africa, 2015 (International IDEA)
- Constitution of the Republic of South Africa, Chapter 2: Bill of Rights (gov.za)
- Minister of Home Affairs v Fourie [2005] ZACC 19 (SAFLII)
- Civil Union Act 17 of 2006 (gov.za)
- Alteration of Sex Description and Sex Status Act 49 of 2003 (gov.za)
- Prevention and Combating of Hate Crimes and Hate Speech Act 16 of 2023 (SAFLII)
- Regulations for the Hate Crimes Act still pending, 2 October 2026 (GoLegal)
- 13 October 1990: first Pride march on the African continent (South African History Online)
- Survey finds lack of direct contact with gay people, 2016 (GroundUp, on the HSRC study)
If you are unsure what word someone uses for themselves, listen for it, or ask privately and simply. Never ask someone about their body, their sex life or their medical history.
- South Africa's Constitution leads the world here, and many people are proud of that.
- Visible support, like Pride events and partner-inclusive policies, tells people they can stop hiding.
- Many LGBTIQ+ people say small acts, like the right word, matter more than any campaign.
- For some, faith or culture teaches that same-sex relationships are wrong, and they feel their beliefs are being overruled.
- Some feel sexuality is private and has no place at work.
- Some feel the language changes too fast to keep up, and worry about saying the wrong thing.
You don't have to change your beliefs to work well with LGBTIQ+ colleagues. The workplace asks for dignity, fairness and the same courtesy everyone else gets. And sexuality is already at work: in the wedding ring, the photo on the desk and the weekend chat. The question is whether everyone gets to share that ordinary detail, or only some people.
In five sentences, explain what the letters in LGBTIQ+ stand for and the difference between sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a gay or lesbian colleague is unsure whether it is safe to mention their partner. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want to test my thinking on LGBTIQ+ inclusion at work. First, make the strongest honest case that sexuality is a private matter that has no place at work, or that LGBTIQ+ inclusion conflicts with faith or culture, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want help with a real situation involving LGBTIQ+ inclusion in my team, such as language, a comment I heard, or making someone feel welcome. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I've just read about LGBTIQ+ inclusion at work in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
- LGBTIQ+
- Short for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer (or questioning). The plus leaves room for other identities, such as asexual and pansexual. Organisations use longer and shorter versions; AXIS Live uses LGBTIQ+.
- Sexual orientation
- Who a person is romantically or sexually attracted to, if anyone. It is separate from gender identity: a transgender person can be straight, gay, bisexual or any other orientation.
- Gender identity
- A person's internal sense of their own gender: being a woman, a man, both, neither, or another gender. It may or may not match the sex they were assigned at birth, and you can't tell it by looking at someone.
- Queer
- An umbrella word for people whose sexual orientation or gender identity sits outside straight and cisgender norms. Once used as an insult, it has been reclaimed by many as a word of pride. Some people still find it hurtful, so follow the lead of the person you are talking to.
- Heteronormativity
- The assumption that everyone is straight and cisgender, and that this is the normal, default way to be. It shows up in forms, policies and small talk, such as asking a man about his wife.
- Passing
- Being taken for a member of a more privileged group (for example straight, white, local or non-disabled) because the part of you that differs is not visible. It can lower the risk of being targeted, at the cost of hiding and the fear of being found out.
Sexual orientation is about who you are attracted to, if anyone. Coming out is choosing to tell other people. It is rarely one big moment. Every new team, manager, client and form is a fresh decision: do I say it, or let the assumption stand?
Most of the pressure comes from that assumption. When a colleague asks a man about his wife, they have assumed he is straight. He now has two choices: go along with it, and stay in the closet a little longer, or correct it, and come out on the spot. Neither is a choice he asked to make.
Brave and afraid at the same time.
It takes courage to show up as yourself every day. That courage doesn't mean the fear has gone. It usually sits right next door, the whole time.
From Run to the Monster talks on LGBTIQ+ inclusion.
Some orientations are harder to see, and so easier to dismiss.
Being invisible can feel safer. It also means you are never fully seen.
- Partner-inclusive language costs nothing and takes a lot of pressure off.
- People who don't have to hide bring more energy and ideas to work.
- Visible role models tell younger colleagues it is possible to be out and succeed.
- "I don't talk about my sexuality at work, so why do they?"
- Some feel uncomfortable because of faith or upbringing, and don't know what is expected of them.
- Some worry that saying anything at all will offend.
Most people talk about their sexuality at work all the time without noticing: a wedding ring, a photo on the desk, "my wife and I went away this weekend". Coming out is simply asking for the same ordinary detail. You are not being asked to celebrate anyone's private life, only to make room for it the way you already do for others.
- Say thank you. They trusted you with something that matters.
- Keep it ordinary. "Thanks for telling me. What's your partner's name?" goes a long way.
- Ask who else knows. And don't tell anyone without their permission. Outing someone can put them at real risk.
- Don't ask about their sex life. Or "how long have you known?" unless they want to talk about it.
- For more, see Someone came out to me.
- Use partner-inclusive language in invitations, forms and small talk.
- Check your policies. Medical aid, family responsibility leave and parental leave should treat same-sex partners and families the same.
- Deal with the joke. A comment left unchallenged tells everyone what is allowed.
- Don't make anyone the spokesperson. Being out doesn't mean someone wants to educate the team.
"What did you and your partner get up to this weekend?"
"Thank you for telling me. Is this something you'd like me to keep between us?"
"I'm sorry, I assumed. I'll ask about your wife properly next time. What's her name?"
"That joke about him at the function didn't land well. Can we not do that?"
In five sentences, explain why coming out at work is an ongoing decision rather than a single moment, and how assumptions make it harder. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a colleague has to decide whether to correct an assumption about their partner. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want to test my thinking on sexual orientation and coming out at work. First, make the strongest honest case that sexuality is private and people shouldn't bring it to work, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want help with a real situation where someone has come out to me, or where I want to make my team easier to be open in. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I've just read about sexual orientation and coming out at work in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
- Coming out
- Choosing to tell others about your sexual orientation or gender identity. It is rarely a single event: many people come out again with each new team, manager or client. Telling someone else's identity without their consent is called outing.
- Sexual orientation
- Who a person is romantically or sexually attracted to, if anyone. It is separate from gender identity: a transgender person can be straight, gay, bisexual or any other orientation.
- Bisexual
- A person attracted to more than one gender. Bisexual people are often made invisible, assumed to be straight or gay depending on who their partner is, and can face doubt from straight and gay people alike.
- Pansexual
- A person whose attraction is not limited by gender: they may be attracted to people of any gender. Some people use "bisexual" and "pansexual" interchangeably and others draw a distinction. Use the word the person uses.
- Asexual
- A person who experiences little or no sexual attraction. It is an orientation, not a medical problem or a sign of trauma. Asexual people may or may not want romantic relationships.
- Passing
- Being taken for a member of a more privileged group (for example straight, white, local or non-disabled) because the part of you that differs is not visible. It can lower the risk of being targeted, at the cost of hiding and the fear of being found out.
- Heteronormativity
- The assumption that everyone is straight and cisgender, and that this is the normal, default way to be. It shows up in forms, policies and small talk, such as asking a man about his wife.
Gender identity is a person's own sense of their gender. For most people it matches the sex they were assigned at birth; the word for that is cisgender. For transgender people it doesn't. Non-binary people don't experience their gender as only man or only woman.
Transitioning means the steps someone takes to live as their gender. It can be social (a new name, pronouns, clothes), legal (documents) or medical (hormones or surgery), in any combination, or none of them. Nobody needs surgery to be trans, and it is never your business whether someone has had it.
The migraine.
Imagine someone close to you gets migraines. You never have. They lie in a dark room with a cloth over their eyes. You could say "surely it's not that bad, just take a painkiller." Or you could accept that it is real, and simply something you have never had to feel. Not understanding what it is like to be trans in your body doesn't make it untrue. It asks more of you.
The migraine analogy, Run to the Monster.
There is a loud public debate about gender identity, especially about sport, single-sex spaces and young people, and people hold strong views on all sides. This page is about the workplace, where the starting point is simpler: a colleague is entitled to dignity, privacy and fair treatment.
When a colleague tells you they are transitioning, the most important rule is that the plan is theirs. You support it; you don't run it.
Start with a private conversation.
Ask what they want, when, and who already knows. Agree what stays confidential. Thank them for trusting you.
Agree the plan together.
Timing, who will be told, how and by whom. Some people want to tell the team themselves; some want their manager to do it; some want it to be quiet and low-key.
Update the records.
Change the name and pronouns on email, the directory, the access card, the org chart and anywhere else used day to day. Payroll and tax may need to match legal documents until those are changed.
Sort out facilities.
Good practice is that people use the facilities that match their gender identity. Where colleagues are uneasy, offer a private or all-gender option to anyone who wants it, rather than requiring the trans colleague to use it.
Protect their privacy.
Medical details stay private. Information about someone's health or sex life is special personal information under POPIA. Don't share old names or photos.
Keep checking in.
Ask how it is going, deal quickly with misgendering or comments, and adjust the plan if they want to.
- Asking about bodies or surgery. It is private, and you wouldn't ask anyone else.
- Using their old name "by accident" on purpose. Repeated slips after the change tell the person you don't accept it.
- Making the announcement about everyone else's feelings. Keep it short and practical.
- Treating them as the team's educator. Point people to resources instead.
- Avoiding them. Going quiet because you are scared of getting it wrong feels like rejection.
- A clear, respectful process makes it easier for everyone, not only the person transitioning.
- Trans colleagues who are supported stay and contribute instead of leaving or hiding.
- It shows the whole organisation that dignity is applied to everyone.
- Some colleagues have religious or cultural beliefs about gender and feel uneasy.
- Some worry about bathrooms and changing rooms.
- Some fear saying the wrong name or pronoun and being labelled.
These worries are human, and they deserve a calm answer, not a lecture. You don't have to share a view to treat a colleague with respect. Slips will happen; what matters is a quick correction and moving on. See I got it wrong.
"Thank you for telling me. How can I support you, and what would you like to happen next?"
"Would you like to tell the team yourself, or would you like me to? What would you like me to say?"
"From next week, our colleague will be using the name Sam and the pronouns she and her. Please update how you refer to her. If you have questions, come to me, not Sam."
"Sorry, she. As I was saying..."
In five sentences, explain what gender identity, transgender, non-binary and transitioning mean, and how a transition can be supported at work. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a team member tells their manager they are about to transition. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want to test my thinking on gender identity and transitioning at work. First, make the strongest honest case that gender identity is a contested idea and the workplace shouldn't have to accommodate it, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want help with a real situation where a colleague is transitioning, or where I am unsure how to handle names, pronouns, facilities or questions from the team. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I've just read about gender identity and transitioning at work in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
- Gender identity
- A person's internal sense of their own gender: being a woman, a man, both, neither, or another gender. It may or may not match the sex they were assigned at birth, and you can't tell it by looking at someone.
- Transgender
- A term for someone whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. A transgender person may use pronouns different from those others might assume, and being referred to correctly is a basic part of being respected at work.
- Gender non-binary
- An umbrella term for people whose gender isn't fully captured by "man" or "woman". Many non-binary people use "they/them", though some use other pronouns; the surest approach is simply to go by what a person tells you.
- Cisgender
- Describes someone whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. It is a description, in the same way "transgender" is, not a judgement.
- Transitioning
- The steps some transgender and non-binary people take to live as their gender. A transition can be social (name, pronouns, clothes), legal (documents) or medical (hormones, surgery), in any combination, or none of these. There is no single path, and medical steps are not what make someone trans.
- Gender expression
- How a person shows their gender to the world, through clothes, hair, voice, name and behaviour. Expression and identity are different things: how someone dresses doesn't tell you who they are.
- Misgendering
- Referring to someone with a pronoun, name or gendered word that doesn't match who they are. One slip, corrected quickly, is part of learning. Doing it repeatedly, or on purpose, tells the person they aren't seen.
Intersex is an umbrella term for people born with variations in their sex characteristics, such as chromosomes, hormones, gonads or genitals, that don't fit typical definitions of female or male. There are many different variations. Some are noticed at birth, some at puberty, and some never.
How common it is depends on which variations are counted, and estimates vary widely. The United Nations cites experts who estimate that up to 1.7% of people are born with intersex traits.
Body, identity, orientation
Intersex people share a history with the rest of the LGBTIQ+ community: being treated as abnormal for not fitting the binary. Many intersex children have had surgery to make their bodies look more typical, often before they were old enough to agree. Human rights bodies, including the UN, have raised concern about medically unnecessary surgery on intersex children.
Not every person with an intersex variation uses the word intersex. Some use the medical term for their specific variation; some use "differences of sex development", a term others reject. Use whatever word the person uses.
South African law names intersex people directly. Since a 2005 amendment, the Equality Act (PEPUDA) has said that "sex" includes intersex, so unfair discrimination against intersex people is unfair discrimination on the ground of sex. The Alteration of Sex Description and Sex Status Act (49 of 2003) lets intersex people apply to change the sex description on their birth register. In 2024, South Africa co-led the first UN Human Rights Council resolution on the rights of intersex people.
"Thank you for telling me. Is there anything you'd like me to know or do, or keep to myself?"
"That's their private business, and not something we should guess about."
"The word people use now is intersex."
In five sentences, explain what intersex means, how it differs from gender identity and sexual orientation, and why privacy matters. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a colleague's body becomes the subject of gossip in a team. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want to test my thinking on intersex inclusion. First, make the strongest honest case that intersex is too rare to need any attention at work, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want help with a real situation involving intersex inclusion, such as how our forms ask about sex or gender, or a conversation I need to handle well. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I've just read about intersex inclusion in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
- Intersex
- An umbrella term for people born with variations in sex characteristics, such as chromosomes, hormones, gonads or genitals, that don't fit typical definitions of female or male. Being intersex is about the body. It is separate from gender identity and from sexual orientation.
- Sex
- The biological characteristics, such as chromosomes, hormones and reproductive anatomy, used to classify people as female or male. A baby's sex is usually recorded at birth from their body. Some people are born with intersex variations.
- Gender identity
- A person's internal sense of their own gender: being a woman, a man, both, neither, or another gender. It may or may not match the sex they were assigned at birth, and you can't tell it by looking at someone.
- Sexual orientation
- Who a person is romantically or sexually attracted to, if anyone. It is separate from gender identity: a transgender person can be straight, gay, bisexual or any other orientation.
A personal pronoun is the word someone uses in place of their name, the everyday shorthand others use to refer to them: "she led the deal," "he sent the deck," "they chaired the meeting." Most of us never think about our own, because the world tends to guess them correctly. For many colleagues that guess lands wrong, and being referred to accurately, in the small moments, is part of feeling seen at work.
Pronouns matter for everyone, but they carry particular weight across the LGBTIQ+ community. In particular, transgender, gender non-binary and gender fluid people often use pronouns that differ from the ones others might assume, and "they" is one many people in these groups choose. Getting it right isn't about memorising labels, it's a direct, everyday signal that someone is seen and welcome exactly as they are.
Some people are comfortable with more than one set; some prefer you use their name and skip pronouns altogether. The point isn't to memorise a list, it's to notice, and to ask when you're unsure rather than assume.
"They" isn't new, and it isn't ungrammatical.
English has used the singular they for a single, unknown person for centuries, "someone left their badge at reception" needs no thought at all. Using it for a specific person who asks for it is the same word, applied deliberately. It refers to one person whose gender isn't captured by "he" or "she": someone non-binary, or simply someone who finds it fits them best.
Pronouns have become a visible, and contested, part of the culture. Naming both responses honestly is part of navigating it well.
- A simple, low-cost act of respect that signals a workplace is safe to be yourself in.
- Sharing pronouns in email signatures and introductions normalises it, so the burden doesn't fall only on trans and non-binary people.
- For many, hearing the right pronoun is the difference between bracing and belonging.
- Some feel it's imposed, or worry about "getting it wrong" and being judged for an honest slip.
- Others see it as politicised, or question singular "they" on grammatical grounds.
- Some prefer not to share their own, and can feel pressured when it's expected.
AXIS Live doesn't tell you what to think. It gives you the language and the context to act with confidence, and to lead others through the same, without blame in either direction. The whole point: people move when they feel invited, not indicted.
In five sentences, explain why pronouns matter at work. Give me one realistic workplace scenario where getting them right makes a difference to how a team works together. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want to test my own thinking on pronouns at work. First, make the strongest honest case someone sceptical would make about sharing or using pronouns at work. Then make the strongest case for it. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer when I give it.I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I want help with a real situation involving pronouns at work. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand what happened. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say.
Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student.
I've just read about pronouns in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
- Pronouns
- The words used to refer to someone in place of their name, such as she, he or they. Most people never think about their own because others guess them correctly. The respectful default is to use the pronouns a person tells you.
- Transgender
- A term for someone whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. A transgender person may use pronouns different from those others might assume, and being referred to correctly is a basic part of being respected at work.
- Gender non-binary
- An umbrella term for people whose gender isn't fully captured by "man" or "woman". Many non-binary people use "they/them", though some use other pronouns; the surest approach is simply to go by what a person tells you.
- Gender fluid
- Describes someone whose sense of their gender shifts over time rather than staying fixed. Their pronouns may change too, so a brief, respectful check-in, rather than an assumption, is always welcome.
- Misgendering
- Referring to someone with a pronoun, name or gendered word that doesn't match who they are. One slip, corrected quickly, is part of learning. Doing it repeatedly, or on purpose, tells the person they aren't seen.
I got it wrong.
You used the wrong pronoun for a colleague in a meeting. Or mispronounced their name, again. Or made a comment that landed badly the second it left your mouth. Your face goes hot, and part of you wants to carry on as if it didn't happen.
Everyone gets this wrong sometimes. The slip itself is usually small. What the other person remembers is what happens next: whether you noticed, whether you cared, and whether it keeps happening.
Intent matters to you. Impact is what they live with. Both are real, and repair is how you close the gap between them.
Correct it quickly, then carry on.
A small slip needs a small fix, in the moment.
If it was bigger, follow up privately.
A short word afterwards, not a public scene.
Apologise once, briefly.
Name what you did, say sorry, stop.
Change the behaviour.
Practise the name. Use the pronoun. The apology only counts if it doesn't keep happening.
Let it go.
Once you've repaired it, don't keep bringing it up.
- Over-apologising. Now they have to comfort you.
- Explaining your intent at length. It turns the moment into a conversation about you.
- "I'm just bad with names." It sounds like an apology but works as an excuse.
- Getting defensive. "I didn't mean anything by it" may be true, and still doesn't help.
- Avoiding them afterwards. Awkward distance does more damage than the slip.
"Sorry, they. As I was saying..."
"I've been saying your name wrong. Could you say it for me? I want to get it right."
"What I said earlier landed badly, and I'm sorry. I'll be more careful."
"Thanks for telling me. I'll change it."
If it keeps happening, if the other person has raised it formally, or if it wasn't really a slip, this is no longer a repair conversation. Speak to HR or your line manager. If you were on the receiving end, go to 3.3 It was aimed at me.
I got something wrong with a colleague and I want to put it right. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand what happened and how it landed. Then tell me honestly whether it needs a follow-up, and if it does, give me a few short words I could actually say. Don't let me over-apologise.
Here's what happened: [describe it using "a colleague" or "someone on my team"]
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
Someone came out to me, or told me they are transitioning.
A colleague tells you they are gay, or bisexual, or that they are transgender and will be transitioning at work. Maybe they mention a same-sex partner for the first time. Maybe they ask for a meeting. You want to say the right thing, and you are aware that what you say in the next minute matters.
Coming out at work is rarely a single moment. People decide, again and again, who is safe to tell. Telling you means they have weighed the risk and decided you are worth it. Whatever your own views or experience, the person in front of you is the expert on their own life. You don't have to understand it fully to respect it.
Your main jobs are to respond warmly, keep what they told you to yourself until they choose otherwise, and ask what support they want. If they are transitioning, there will be practical steps, and they should lead them.
Thank them.
A simple, warm response. You don't need a speech.
Ask who knows, and who they want to know.
Telling others without their say-so (outing them) can do real harm. Follow their lead completely.
Ask what name and pronouns to use, and where.
They may want different things in different settings for a while. Use them, and correct yourself quickly if you slip.
Ask what would help.
For a transition this may include a plan: when and how colleagues are told, updating systems and email, facilities, dress, and time off. Involve HR with their agreement.
Carry on as normal.
Keep giving them the same work, the same feedback and the same chances. Being treated differently afterwards is one of the things people fear most.
- "I always knew." It makes their moment about your guess.
- Questions about their body, medical care or sex life. Not your business, however curious you are.
- Telling someone "so they know". It is not yours to share.
- Making it about your beliefs. You can have your own views and still respond with respect.
- Going quiet or awkward afterwards. Distance is felt, and remembered.
"Thank you for telling me. I'm glad you did."
"Who else knows? And is there anyone you would like me to tell, or not tell?"
"What name and pronouns would you like me to use? Is that the same everywhere for now?"
"What would be helpful from me, now or later?"
Sexual orientation, gender and sex are protected grounds under the Constitution and the Employment Equity Act. If the person faces comments, exclusion or harassment, it should be handled as a conduct issue. For a workplace transition, HR should help put a plan in place, led by the person transitioning.
A colleague has come out to me, or told me they are transitioning, and I want to support them well. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions: what they told me, what our working relationship is, and what they seem to want. Then help me understand what to do and not do, especially about confidentiality, and give me a few short words I could say. If I have questions I shouldn't ask them, help me find the answers elsewhere.
Here's the situation: [describe it without naming anyone]
No names, no client details. Keeping it confidential
Glossary, A to Z.
Every term in this sample, defined once. Definitions describe real people and real identities, so they are written to be accurate and neutral. Where a word is still contested, we say so.
- Asexual
- A person who experiences little or no sexual attraction. It is an orientation, not a medical problem or a sign of trauma. Asexual people may or may not want romantic relationships.
- Bisexual
- A person attracted to more than one gender. Bisexual people are often made invisible, assumed to be straight or gay depending on who their partner is, and can face doubt from straight and gay people alike.
- Cisgender
- Describes someone whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. It is a description, in the same way "transgender" is, not a judgement.
- Coming out
- Choosing to tell others about your sexual orientation or gender identity. It is rarely a single event: many people come out again with each new team, manager or client. Telling someone else's identity without their consent is called outing.
- Gender expression
- How a person shows their gender to the world, through clothes, hair, voice, name and behaviour. Expression and identity are different things: how someone dresses doesn't tell you who they are.
- Gender fluid
- Describes someone whose sense of their gender shifts over time rather than staying fixed. Their pronouns may change too, so a brief, respectful check-in, rather than an assumption, is always welcome.
- Gender identity
- A person's internal sense of their own gender: being a woman, a man, both, neither, or another gender. It may or may not match the sex they were assigned at birth, and you can't tell it by looking at someone.
- Gender non-binary
- An umbrella term for people whose gender isn't fully captured by "man" or "woman". Many non-binary people use "they/them", though some use other pronouns; the surest approach is simply to go by what a person tells you.
- Heteronormativity
- The assumption that everyone is straight and cisgender, and that this is the normal, default way to be. It shows up in forms, policies and small talk, such as asking a man about his wife.
- Intersex
- An umbrella term for people born with variations in sex characteristics, such as chromosomes, hormones, gonads or genitals, that don't fit typical definitions of female or male. Being intersex is about the body. It is separate from gender identity and from sexual orientation.
- LGBTIQ+
- Short for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer (or questioning). The plus leaves room for other identities, such as asexual and pansexual. Organisations use longer and shorter versions; AXIS Live uses LGBTIQ+.
- Misgendering
- Referring to someone with a pronoun, name or gendered word that doesn't match who they are. One slip, corrected quickly, is part of learning. Doing it repeatedly, or on purpose, tells the person they aren't seen.
- Pansexual
- A person whose attraction is not limited by gender: they may be attracted to people of any gender. Some people use "bisexual" and "pansexual" interchangeably and others draw a distinction. Use the word the person uses.
- Passing
- Being taken for a member of a more privileged group (for example straight, white, local or non-disabled) because the part of you that differs is not visible. It can lower the risk of being targeted, at the cost of hiding and the fear of being found out.
- Pronouns
- The words used to refer to someone in place of their name, such as she, he or they. Most people never think about their own because others guess them correctly. The respectful default is to use the pronouns a person tells you.
- Queer
- An umbrella word for people whose sexual orientation or gender identity sits outside straight and cisgender norms. Once used as an insult, it has been reclaimed by many as a word of pride. Some people still find it hurtful, so follow the lead of the person you are talking to.
- Sex
- The biological characteristics, such as chromosomes, hormones and reproductive anatomy, used to classify people as female or male. A baby's sex is usually recorded at birth from their body. Some people are born with intersex variations.
- Sexual orientation
- Who a person is romantically or sexually attracted to, if anyone. It is separate from gender identity: a transgender person can be straight, gay, bisexual or any other orientation.
- Transgender
- A term for someone whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. A transgender person may use pronouns different from those others might assume, and being referred to correctly is a basic part of being respected at work.
- Transitioning
- The steps some transgender and non-binary people take to live as their gender. A transition can be social (name, pronouns, clothes), legal (documents) or medical (hormones, surgery), in any combination, or none of these. There is no single path, and medical steps are not what make someone trans.
Every LGBTIQ+ prompt, in one place.
Filter by the kind of help you want, or by section. Every prompt works in your organisation's approved AI tool. No names, no client details.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. In five sentences, explain what the letters in LGBTIQ+ stand for and the difference between sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a gay or lesbian colleague is unsure whether it is safe to mention their partner. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want to test my thinking on LGBTIQ+ inclusion at work. First, make the strongest honest case that sexuality is a private matter that has no place at work, or that LGBTIQ+ inclusion conflicts with faith or culture, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want help with a real situation involving LGBTIQ+ inclusion in my team, such as language, a comment I heard, or making someone feel welcome. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I've just read about LGBTIQ+ inclusion at work in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. In five sentences, explain why pronouns matter at work. Give me one realistic workplace scenario where getting them right makes a difference to how a team works together. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want to test my own thinking on pronouns at work. First, make the strongest honest case someone sceptical would make about sharing or using pronouns at work. Then make the strongest case for it. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer when I give it.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want help with a real situation involving pronouns at work. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand what happened. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I've just read about pronouns in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. In five sentences, explain why coming out at work is an ongoing decision rather than a single moment, and how assumptions make it harder. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a colleague has to decide whether to correct an assumption about their partner. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want to test my thinking on sexual orientation and coming out at work. First, make the strongest honest case that sexuality is private and people shouldn't bring it to work, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want help with a real situation where someone has come out to me, or where I want to make my team easier to be open in. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I've just read about sexual orientation and coming out at work in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. In five sentences, explain what gender identity, transgender, non-binary and transitioning mean, and how a transition can be supported at work. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a team member tells their manager they are about to transition. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want to test my thinking on gender identity and transitioning at work. First, make the strongest honest case that gender identity is a contested idea and the workplace shouldn't have to accommodate it, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want help with a real situation where a colleague is transitioning, or where I am unsure how to handle names, pronouns, facilities or questions from the team. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I've just read about gender identity and transitioning at work in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. In five sentences, explain what intersex means, how it differs from gender identity and sexual orientation, and why privacy matters. Give me one realistic scenario from a South African workplace where a colleague's body becomes the subject of gossip in a team. Then give me three options (a, b or c) for where to take this next. I'll pick one and we'll continue.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want to test my thinking on intersex inclusion. First, make the strongest honest case that intersex is too rare to need any attention at work, and say what is understandable about that view. Then make the strongest case against that view. Don't tell me which is right. Ask me one question about where I stand, and respectfully challenge my answer.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I want help with a real situation involving intersex inclusion, such as how our forms ask about sex or gender, or a conversation I need to handle well. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand it. Then help me think through what to do, and give me a few words I could actually say. Here's the situation: [describe it using "a colleague", "my manager" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I've just read about intersex inclusion in AXIS Live, a DEIB toolkit. It covers foundations (psychological safety, power, identity, bias, microaggressions, allyship, inclusive leadership, repairing mistakes, resistance), dimensions of diversity (race, gender, LGBTIQ+, disability, neurodiversity, health, age, religion and culture, language, class, nationality, carers) and real workplace situations. Ask me four questions, one at a time, about my role, my team and what I find hard. Then suggest the next three topics I should look at, in order, with one line on why each.
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. I got something wrong with a colleague and I want to put it right. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions to understand what happened and how it landed. Then tell me honestly whether it needs a follow-up, and if it does, give me a few short words I could actually say. Don't let me over-apologise. Here's what happened: [describe it using "a colleague" or "someone on my team"]
I work in a South African organisation. Keep your answers short, plain and direct. No jargon. Treat me as a capable adult, not a student. A colleague has come out to me, or told me they are transitioning, and I want to support them well. I won't use names or details that identify anyone, so please don't ask for them. Ask me up to three questions: what they told me, what our working relationship is, and what they seem to want. Then help me understand what to do and not do, especially about confidentiality, and give me a few short words I could say. If I have questions I shouldn't ask them, help me find the answers elsewhere. Here's the situation: [describe it without naming anyone]
